Tag Archives: Jesus

The Invisible Gift

Have you noticed? There’s someone missing from church.

People with disabilities make up about one-fifth of our population, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. These are our friends, neighbors and family members. They are, though, for the most part an invisible segment of our society. Some may be homebound or otherwise unable to move about in our communities, but many are mobile.

Then why are so few attending church?

As a mother of three blind and disabled children, it concerns me. Generally, many people tend to feel uncomfortable around those who are physically or mentally disabled. And, I’ve come to the conclusion church people are no different.

One Sunday, many years ago, on our way out of church service, the pastor looked at us and asked if we were visitors. We had sat in his Sunday services for the past two years, a church of less than 200 people, yet he never noticed us… a family with three blind children.

It was a rare occasion when our children were welcomed to attend Sunday school or any other function involving youth their own ages. At some churches, when I’d inquire, the reply was clearly exclusionary.

A friend, who is a mother of a boy with cerebral palsy, stopped taking her son to church after members asked “what’s wrong with your son”… in front of the boy and everyone else. The mother informed them that her son was most certainly not deaf – and left. Although terribly insensitive, they may have been well-meaning, but their thoughtless words still hurt.

Another mother enrolled her disabled daughter in a preschool of the church the family attended. Three weeks later, as the mother was helping her get ready for bed, she noticed a large red welt in the shape of a wooden spoon across the child’s buttocks. Tears welled up in the brokenhearted  little girl’s eyes when her mother asked what happened… and the child sobbed, “Jesus doesn’t love me anymore.”

The next day, the mother stormed into the church to confront the teacher and pastor. At first, they lied, denying anything had happened, which rightly angered the mother. Eventually, the truth was admitted… along with a callous parting comment from the teacher of “she’s retarded” – as though that somehow justified her brutal actions.

Words that burned a hole in the mother’s tender heart.

Over the years, we’ve lived in many parts of the country, attending many churches, searching for a place we would feel welcome. A place where our children and our family would be accepted.

Many years ago, after learning our youngest child was also afflicted with the same condition as the older ones, I approached a pastor looking for a Biblical answer to my pain… a passage from the Bible… some encouragement. Instead, he simply said “It’s too bad God doesn’t heal people any more”, turned and walked away.

I wasn’t asking for a miracle, just some strength and hope.

How could we attend a church where the pastor admittedly has no faith or compassion?

We couldn’t.

And we’ve been to churches at the opposite end of the spectrum. Churches where without asking, people prayed for a miraculous healing, then when nothing happened, blamed us.

God doesn’t make mistakes. In His infinite wisdom, he gives us all gifts and He places people in our lives so we might gain a greater understanding of His love. Just because someone may be mentally or physically disabled… or blind… does not mean they are somehow defective or less of a person than someone who appears “normal”. Why is it so many people are quick to judge these people and reject them? Why do some Christians believe they need to ask God to fix or heal those who may not fit their own mold of wholeness?

I believe in the healing power of prayer… I know He heals. I believe in miracles… and I’ve seen God work miracles. I also know God has a plan and events are intended to unfold on His timeline, not always ours.

Too often, we are like the petulant child who demands, pleads or begs for his cookies before dinner… and God’s role is like the parent who wisely knows it is better to wait  until after dinner for a cookie. It’s not that He doesn’t want us to have our cookie, just not right now. So can it be with our prayers asking for healing or financial blessings… or whatever it is… now, when it may not be according to God’s timing. If it doesn’t happen… now… how do we react? Do we sulk, get mad or give up? Or do we build our faith and live in submission to God’s will, trusting Him?

I found my strength and hope in a promise from God:

And when he comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf. The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy! Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the wasteland.–Isaiah 35:5-6 (New Living Translation)

“When He comes”… what a glorious day that will be!

I will lead the blind on unfamiliar roads. I will lead them on unfamiliar paths. I will turn darkness into light in front of them. I will make rough places smooth. These are the things I will do for them, and I will never abandon them.–Isaiah 42:16 (GOD’S WORD)

Although many churches have abandoned the blind and disabled, God has not and never will. He cares deeply about those who are blind or otherwise disabled, as He does for us all. God has a plan… a magnificent plan… and these precious people are a part of it. We may not understand God’s thoughts, but we must learn to trust in His wisdom. When He gives us the gift of an exceptionally challenged person in our lives, we must learn not to judge them or reject God’s gift. After all, not one of us is “perfect”.

Wishing you a joyful Christmas and a year of gifts and many blessings

I have learned so much from my own precious children:  unconditional love; having a heart for charity towards the poverty-stricken; a sense of pure joy in life’s simple pleasures; being grateful, having a spirit of genuine forgiveness;  generosity; empathy; optimism; good humor; learning to become non-judgmental; patience; truly caring for others… and selflessness, to name just a few. Never have I heard any of them utter even one word of self-pity. They have blessed our family, encouraged me to become a better person and strengthened my faith in God greatly.

The church is missing out on a great opportunity to learn these same lessons, be blessed with these gifts and so much more, from those who, for the most part, are missing from their congregations. On the flip side of the coin, the disabled, and their families, who do not feel welcome or comfortable attending church… those who may have experienced callous rejection, may be missing out on the opportunity to learn of God’s love and the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. After all, in Mark 16:15 He commanded:  “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.” (New Living Translation)

In this season of giving, it is my prayer God may open the eyes and touch the hearts of Christians and church leaders so they might not be blind to those who are invisible members of their communities.

Merry Christmas and God Bless.

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Dehumanizing People

Last year, the Wisconsin legislature expanded the scope of sex-education in our state when they passed 2009 Wisconsin Act 134 into law. It is a controversial change because local school boards choosing to teach Human Growth and Development lost their ability to teach abstinence before marriage without forced inclusion of Planned Parenthood-style comprehensive sex-ed, as a result of the so-called Healthy Youth Act of 2009.

Now, many public schools are including, at the very least, discussions on the issue of abortion. In some school districts, Planned Parenthood, or other like-minded groups, are actually allowed into classrooms to “teach” these sensitive topics, giving them the opportunity for financial gain as they cultivate students’ trust while undermining family values.

In schools across the country, districts using GLENCOE Education in Sexuality textbooks, are subverting some students’ Christian, Pro-Life values by introducing a grey area concept in what is, and should be, a black and white issue. In teacher-led discussion, the class analyzes three different viewpoints on abortion… yes, three: against, in favor, and what they call “A Third View”.

Follows is an excerpt:

Some people believe that abortion should be legal in special cases. Those cases include pregnancies that are the result of rape or incest, when the physical health and life of the pregnant female is in danger, and if certain severe birth defects are confirmed. These people feel that abortions for any other reason should be illegal.

The GLENCOE book limits the topic to a couple of pages and an exercise explicitly designed to expose students’ personal beliefs on the issue and, for those who are identified as holding beliefs against abortion, it tries to weaken their resolve. In question three, it misleads students as the wording attempts to equate using contraceptives with abstinence in reducing pregnancy risk:

EXPLORING YOUR VIEWS
1. What is your view on abortion?
2. Are there certain circumstances when you think abortion might be justified? Explain your answer.
3. How would practicing abstinence or using reliable contraception reduce the need for abortions?”
–Lesson 2 Concerns About Sexuality, GLENCOE Education in Sexuality, Chapter 6:  Issues of Sexuality, pg 96 (1999)

mother and child

Life is a gift from God

The so called Third View endorses abortion without addressing the alternative of adoption and its benefits. It ignores factual information on the risk to the physical health and life of the woman undergoing an abortion.

Inclusion of the phrase “if certain severe birth defects are confirmed” as a legitimate reason to support abortion in “special cases” becomes an open door to the idea that unborn babies who are determined to have some sort of physical or mental “defect” are somehow less entitled to live their lives than those individuals who are deemed “normal” by society. I believe this teaching is, by design, intended to undermine the beliefs of Pro-Life students who believe abortion is wrong, by slipping a seed of doubt into their minds… by way of suggesting it could be justified in certain situations.

The Third View notion that these abortions are only being performed in cases of “severe birth defects” is far from accurate as it is clearly outdated. Since this book was first published in 1987, and even it’s more recent update in 1999, the science of gene mapping has progressed far beyond just identifying “severe birth defects” through in utero, prenatal testing to now include literally thousands of conditions, many resulting in milder or even no disabilities at all.

What is not explained in the GLENCOE textbook is how often, when abortions are performed due to the discovery of some sort of birth defect in the unborn child, it occurs in the second – or even third trimester of the pregnancy to infants who could be considered viable, if given the opportunity to live. This is commonly referred to as a partial-birth abortion. Instead, the focus of this high school textbook is targeted to promote a woman-centered justification for abortion, while ignoring the brutal reality inflicted upon the unborn child.

If the student adopts the belief it is OK to abort so-called “defective” babies from the womb, as the Third View clearly suggests, their thinking is on the slippery slope to accepting a suggestion it is also OK deny these infants and individuals food, water or medical attention after they are born… or even go as far as to euthanize them as though they were unwanted stray dogs. You see, that’s the trouble with the slippery slope. Just like the Serpent in the Garden of Eden poisoned Eve’s mind until she was convinced to take just one bite of the forbidden fruit, when cleverly deceptive persuasion – and perhaps some classroom peer pressure – are allowed to weaken moral beliefs by swaying young people’s thinking on the issue, inclusion of the Third View “seed” in public school sex-ed curriculums has found fertile ground and accomplished its evil goal.

The so-called Third View is dangerous because it dehumanizes people.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.”–Jeremiah 1:5 (God’s Word Translation)

“Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned. This happened so that the works of God might be revealed in him.”–John 9:3 (International Standard Version)

When a child is identified with a physical or mental challenge, some people wrongly want to assign blame. It is those who, by their own lack of understanding, prejudices, biases, fears and arrogance, brutishly view mentally or physically challenged individuals as inferior.

God doesn’t make mistakes. He is all knowing and perfect. We may not understand the reason why some are born facing lifelong challenges, but must trust that God creates each and every person for a purpose. As His children, He values each of us equally. We must learn to do the same.

The Third View condones and exploits discrimination against special needs people, advancing the cruel belief they are less entitled to live their God-given life. We must remember Planned Parenthood is the driving force behind comprehensive sex-ed in the public schools… the same Planned Parenthood who is the single largest abortion provider in the nation… and who stands to gain financially if they convince young people it’s OK to condemn to death unborn babies viewed as less than “perfect”.

I do not believe the morality discussion related to abortion belongs in public school classrooms. That is, unless students are presented with the whole truth about abortion. Factual, medically accurate information which includes: photographic evidence of the baby’s developmental stages in the womb; exactly what happens to the child during an abortion; photographs of aborted babies; immediate and long-term medical and psychological risks to the mother’s health caused by the abortion, including the risk of death. Without this material to ensure a balanced handling of this controversial issue, we are doing a great disservice to students.

Inclusion of this Third View – whether through the GLENCOE book or another source – in a school district’s curriculum clearly creates a bias against children with disabilities by justifying the false belief their lives are somehow less valuable than so-called “normal” people. It demeans special needs people to the status of second class citizens – while sending the message it is acceptable to play God and deny these unborn children LIFE.

Wisconsin’s Human Growth and Development (HG&D) law clearly states schools “cannot use instructional materials that promote bias against… children with disabilities”. Wouldn’t a classroom discussion encompassing the belief that unborn children with disabilities can simply be disposed of by denying them life – in and of itself- create a bias against these very individuals? This is unacceptable and, I believe, is a clear violation of the non-discrimination clause emphasized within state statutes pertaining to Human Growth and Development instruction.

Aside from this, it is my belief high school students lack the maturity and understanding to discuss and comprehend the ramifications of this issue, especially when presented almost exclusively from the pro-Planned Parenthood viewpoint. This is indoctrination. Furthermore, the Third View could cause some impressionable students, particularly those who may not have a family background firmly rooted in faith, to adopt a dangerous, discriminatory view of physically or mentally challenged people being somehow less worthy of life.

Whatever became of teaching children to respect others? …To care for and protect those who cannot do so for themselves? …To value LIFE? …To live according to God’s command:  “Never murder” (God’s Word Translation).

Where is our society and our country headed?

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”–Luke 6:31 (New International Version)

Blessings Sent in Disguise

Learning a precious child or other family member is afflicted with a health problem can turn everyone’s life upside down. A parent’s natural reaction is to move heaven and earth in an effort to do whatever it takes to solve the problem… to make things better. But that’s not always possible. When the source of the affliction is determined to be genetic, it can – and often does – send families into an emotional tail spin as they work through the stages of grief:

  • First, sets in the initial shock: asking “how could this happen to us?” questions;
  • Then denial: “oh, there must be a mistake”;
  • Often followed by blame and finger pointing: “well, it couldn’t have come from my side of the family”;
  • A sense of despondency, guilt and depression may flood in as parents mistakenly wonder: “Why is God punishing my innocent child?”;
  • Next, there’s a realization of loss, the what will never-bees: “my child will never play baseball, go to college, marry or have a family of his own… and we’ll never know the joys of becoming grandparents.”;
  • And finally, acceptance.

I believe this is a normal and natural process, similar to what people experience whenever they face any unexpected life challenge. It takes time to work through this process. The “never-bees” can be extremely painful and difficult for many parents and families to work through. Why is that? Because as the child reaches each life event age, the “never-bees” can unexpectedly trigger a new flood of grief.

For some, it may take years to work through the grief process. Others may never reach the end of this tunnel to the point where they can accept whatever it may be and, once again, walk into the sunlight.

God never promised us rainbows and roses as we journey along life’s path. The test is how do we react when we come face-to-face with life’s obstacles? Do we allow seeds of bitterness and self-pity to be planted and take root in our hearts? For a season or two, we may, as I know it can be difficult to avoid the pitfalls, after all, we are only human. But it is far better to take our troubles to Jesus, right from the start. There’s an age-old hymn I’d like to share:

I have been through the valley of sorrow and weeping,
The valley of trouble and pain;
But the “God of all comfort,” the “God of all comfort,”
Was with me to hold and sustain.

My beloved Grandma was a strong Christian woman who was no stranger to life’s disappointments, tribulations, pain, loss and suffering, but by her unshakable faith in Jesus Christ, she was able to navigate these heartaches and challenges with the help of her Bible and the power of prayer.

After she passed on to Heaven’s pearly gates, I was honored to be given her well-worn Bible, falling apart at the seams and full of handwritten notes. She wrote the verse of this old-time hymn inside the cover, followed by the words:  “yes, Lord I know”.

blessing

My Blessing

When my first child was just a toddler, I’ll always remember a day when we visited Grandma, who lovingly held the young girl on her lap as she sweetly sang Jesus Loves Me.

By then, I was well aware of some of my daughter’s challenges and special needs, as was Grandma. I’ll never forget what she told me that day as she gently shared a piece of wisdom gained from a lifetime of experience and unshakable faith:  “God gives Special Children to Special Moms. Dear Loretta, know that God never gives us more of a burden than what we can bear.” 

The old hymn continues:

Yet how often we shrink from the purging and pruning,
Forgetting the Husbandman knows
That the deeper and closer the cutting and paring,
The richer the cluster that grows.

At the time, I was young, still wrestling the never-bees and not quite ready or able to see past my disappointments in spite of my deep love for my child.

It was, however, not long afterwards when out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon, there was a knock at our door. To my surprise, there stood the pastor from a small country church we were attending and another man whom he introduced as simply “a Prophet”. Having been raised attending very traditional churches all my life, I’d never met a prophet before – and quite frankly, did not even realize there was such a thing as modern day prophets.

We had a brief conversation as I held our daughter, not quite sure what to make of it all. But before departing, the Prophet looked at me and said something I’ll never forget:  “This child is a blessing from God.”  And truer words were never spoken. Indeed, she is a precious gift from above.

As we travel the pathway thru life’s shadowed valleys,
Fresh springs of His love ever rise;
And we learn that our troubles, our sorrows and losses,
Are blessings just sent in disguise.